Today marks the beginning of the eighth week since I’ve been home from school. For five of the previous seven weeks, I was doing a whole lot of nothing from the outside looking in. Most days I felt like I was doing a whole lot of nothing too. The average day consisted of scrolling through my instagram feed, playing games on my phone, watching Netflix, talking to my love, and thinking about all of the things I knew I needed to do but wasn’t doing.
I was/am doing a good amount of work on myself during impromptu me time which actually takes a lot out of you, but obviously you’d have to interact with me a lot to notice the subtle changes.
I came home with the intent to be working all summer long. I ended up spending 1/3 of the summer not even being able to find a job let alone going to work. This might be the point where you’re saying “What? Businesses love hiring college students for seasonal jobs. So many places were hiring, you just weren’t looking..” and to an extent you’d be right. There WERE many places hiring that I never even applied to but I had guidelines that needed to be met based on the dynamic of this household. So I waited.
First I wanted to work through the local temp agency. For those of you that don’t know, a temp agency basically finds full-time jobs for you (typically warehouse jobs) and sends you to work for a company that they have a contract with. They pay more than retailers or fast food so it’s decent if you’re physically able to do the job. I did it over winter break and although it was tiring, the money came through and that’s the only reason I was there.
Then I decided I could either work retail again or go back into food service because there are quite a few local one stop shop type stores around here and plenty of fast food, so that’d be easier on all parties involved. I applied to both.
I did get hired at a pizza place before I started working where I’m working now but I lasted all of 2 days. I’m not typically a quitter, I’ve actually never walked off of a job like I did that one before. However, the timing was wrong and the environment was not something I was willing to deal with. Rude customers? Medium-sized problem. Unprofessional bosses & unsanitary work space? Big problem. In that moment I was not equipped to handle what that position was throwing at me off bat without being taken far out of my zone. Frankly, nothing is more important than my sanity/mental health.
So now I have a different job and my coworkers are 1000x more tolerable and I feel like I can actually talk to them. They don’t know anything about me other than I’m a college student (the store manager knows my dad passed) BUT the point is that the vibe in the store is much more welcoming among the people that work there and I feel like I can do my job and move on without hating every moment of it. I am also in a much better place mentally than I was 3-4 weeks ago so even though customers come in acting a fool much more than I can appreciate, it doesn’t bother me too much after they exit the store. Timing matters.
I was originally going to title this “You Don’t Always Have to See it Through” because when it looks like someone has quit something they chose to start, they’re labeled a quitter. “Quitting” has an extremely negative connotation and is frowned upon pretty much everywhere. Nobody wants someone on their team who isn’t going to see it through… But, it’s so important to see the other side of that. A lot of times, people have no idea what a place or situation is actually like until they’re waist deep. We’re all different people battling things within ourselves that maybe no one else knows. Everybody has a different breaking point and everybody is willing to withstand different things in order to reach their end goal. I was not willing to compromise the progress I was making for a paycheck. I didn’t have to see it through. You don’t either. Have faith that things will fall into place as they should, and they will. It may not be within the time frame that you originally mapped out but part of the fun in life is the repeated surprised of how the puzzle seems to complete itself even when at first glance there’s a giant gaping hole in the center.