Well… It’s 12:17am on a Wednesday morning (technically speaking) and I’m deleting all of my old tweets.
I’ve been on a Twitter hiatus for a little over a month now. I decided before I even left school that I needed to take a break from it because it consumed my life in a very unhealthy way. Don’t get me wrong, Twitter has introduced me to a number of people and concepts I probably wouldn’t have otherwise known but at this stage in my life, I don’t need it and I barely want it.
The reasoning behind this is quite simple: my growth game is strong. I am not the same girl that left college mid-May, completely unsure of what the summer would hold. I am coming in to so many realizations, living such a present life, taking my healing process so seriously and doing just that in the most graceful manner I can possibly muster at this time. Due to those factors, I no longer want to be represented in the way that up until now, my Twitter has represented me.
I’ve heard before that I have a Twitter personality and then I have my actual personality. I finally know what they were talking about.
I decided that I would search my Twitter handle with particular words following it, just to see what my tweets were looking like, because to be completely transparent, I said so much on Twitter that I cannot even begin to imagine what all is out there. That Twitter page has been active for at least 4 years, possibly longer. Needless to say, I was not pleased with what I saw. I have undergone so many changes in such a short period of time that I do not recognize the person that was saying those things.
The most unfortunate part of change is that, as Katy Perry said in her session with Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh, people tend to want you to be a sort of time capsule. Whether in a good or bad way, people have this unrealistic expectation that we are who we’ve always been. We are held accountable for things we said when we were in middle or high school even after we’ve begun or even graduated from college and while that is fair on one hand, on the other it completely disregards the fact that we are learning, growing and changing every single day. I am no longer the person who believed those things to be true, so why am I being crucified for it?
All of that being said, it was high passed time to do a clean sweep. 34K tweets of pure foolery, anger, sadness, inappropriate jokes and confessions: GONE.
I don’t feel like I’m running from the past or that I’m trying to hide anything.. Everyone (or most people) know that once something is on the Internet, it’s there forever and absolutely can be found with the proper tools even if it has been deleted. I’m simply removing all of that from the forefront of my profile. I don’t feel the need to be portraying myself as anything other than who I am anymore. Old habits die hard but just like in a break up, the first step to moving forward is getting rid of any and everything that represents what once was.
Why don’t I delete everything old from my other social media accounts? Well, because they’re different. Instagram is full of old pictures, some I don’t have on my phone or in my google photos anymore. I think it’s nice to be able to scroll down and see the evolution of my face, my photo taking abilities, my captions, and even the comments people make or have made. Snapchat deletes everything by itself (amen!!). Twitter served the same purpose that this blog is serving but in a much less productive way.
Moral of the story is: The more I grow the more I realize that how I display myself and my values to the world is important… My name is important (as is what’s attached to it).